Rest & Resistance

The concept of rest can be elusive and tricky. We crave it, plan for it and work hard to be able to experience it. Once we “arrive” at the coveted time we’ve set aside for rest, how do we transition from a rhythm of achieving with various daily stresses woven into the mix into a restful reflective state?

As I try to articulate what rest is, it feels more like an idea, an imagined experience of stillness, calm, reflective and quiet alone time. A dreamy image of a large bed covered in cozy blankets and pillows floating in a sky of silky soft clouds; a quiet high windowed room in a nature filled place with long afternoon sunlight pouring in on a lounging figure reading on a plush couch. Or maybe staring out at the ocean in a warm tropical place watching the palms sway in the gentle breeze.

I find in my own life, what I often crave in my down time is connection with others, reflection, conversation, activities that help me to find meaning in my experience of life. Rarely do I actually find myself in those solitary imagined places. And if I do, I’m often laughing and visiting and parenting and soaking up the vibrancy of life. It is okay that the imagined version of rest also exists differently in my awareness. When it shows up as a craving it can be a calling card for a kind of nourishment I am needing. A little time alone, a walk in nature or a luxurious nap; to give space to my unwinding thoughts and connect with replenishing elements that help me to contemplate life, provide perspective and shake things up.

What if we use different words or ask different questions to understand what rest is? Can we blend nourishing and replenishing practices with daily life so the two states of being can coexist and bring more balance into our experiences?

Try going for a walk when you notice you are starting to feel stressed or start feeling like you have to get that thing done. We all know that feeling. It is often the old familiar “not enough” pattern taking over and it is amazing how much we rely on this pattern in our western culture in order to motivate ourselves. It is an operating system that can quietly run in the background of our consciousness and can skew our perspective on what is possible, keeping us captive in a kind of race against an “other.” This fear based pattern doesn’t help us achieve a restful state and when our hearts are racing and our systems are on fight, flight, freeze mode, we aren’t sending out a very welcoming signal into the world to engage in abundance. Underneath it all, we’re feeling afraid.

If you felt safe, what choices would you make differently? When that deadline is approaching and it is unrealistic, how do you respond to this recognition? Do you push and pull and stress to meet it, undermining your wellbeing? If we are all connected, when we undermine our own wellbeing, we are undermining the greater wellbeing. What if it is safe to reassess? To have a conversation with yourself, your boss, your team, your client about recognizing the limitations and adjusting, working with the energy that is unfolding in front of you. Most likely a better, more appropriate and more successful solution will appear that will align better for everyone. If we’re tuning in, the feeling of discomfort and stress is a signal that the energy has shifted from where it was before and there is a more aligned path if we are open to collaborating with the energy and each other to find it. Easeful and fun are the guides. Sometimes sticky parts arise as we move through change, but the overall feeling of alignment is the one to look for and trust rather than the fear of judgement or loss.

My invitation for you this week is to notice what is motivating you. Are you charged because you are racing against time? Are you charged because you are excited about what you are doing? Are you charged because you are angry? Or because you are reaching toward a goal? How can you allow yourself to feel most satisfied and safe right now in this moment? Please, no judgement here. Just get curious and observe. Judgement leads to there being a right or wrong. There isn’t one, we’re just all learning and evolving. That’s the goal.

Here is a special set of words that is coming to me to offer you now. Repeat each sentence aloud or in your heart as many times as feels right, taking deep loving breaths after each time to check in with how you feel about this truth before moving to the next. If you notice resistance in you as you say these words, allow healing energy to wash over that resistance and honor what comes to mind as you gently inquire why the resistance is present. Keep in mind that worthiness has no part in this, though it is common for it to be a sticky point for many. Here are the words:

I allow myself to experience love in all its forms without hesitation or delay.

I trust my heart to discern what is truly in alignment for me even if it isn’t what I or others expect and I know that what is in alignment for me is in alignment for all.

I take actions that align with the truth of my heart and these actions lead me to more trust, safety and joy.

If you’d like some support to move through, understand and shift resistances that you are experiencing in your life or in this process or you are ready for an upgrade I’m happy to help you lift into your next level through my newly upgraded coaching program. (Ps. I’ve implemented a new sliding scale.)